Living with someone who's disabled

Hello everybody,

I don't know yet where I'm going to go with this post but I feel like this is something that I just need to say. These particular thoughts keep crossing my mind for so long now and I want to get them out...not just spoken but written as this feels it has more of a meaning.

Just to have said this, I'm not seeking any attention with this post these are just my thoughts about my situation and I do want to write about them as this is why I have started this blog in the first place. Maybe you can relate to some of these things maybe not, either way, it's okay.

My grandmother is severely disabled since I was 2 years old that means I don't remember her not being disabled. She had a brain bleeding in 2001 which led to her left side being paralyzed. She was able to do most of everyday tasks such as cleaning and tidying her flat, getting dressed, cooking for herself, going outside, walking around in general. And I was used to her this way because it has never been any different. But in 2014 she had a stroke but she didn't get a treatment right away. The doctors in our local hospital send her home again. The next day she went to the hospital again, the doctors still were convinced she had nothing as it's not that rare that someone who had a brain bleeding can't do much anymore but with everything it differs from case to case but anyway long story short it took them 2 days to finally realise what was going on. Now fast-forward to today she had multiple rehabs but most of them made it worse, she also had multiple other strokes that stayed undiagnosed for quite some time.
Now my grandmother can't walk anymore, she can barely eat by herself and talk.

Most people would take them to a special-care home (nothing wrong with that I don't judge anyone for doing that) but my grandfather and me but mostly he cares for her at home. And seeing this every day of the week for years does shape you and I really do admire my grandfather for doing everything that he does for my grandmother because most people won't do that and I think this just shows how true and much he loves her that he sticks through all of this with her. 
Believe me when I say this but it is hard and you'll be devasted if things get worse or might not work at first it really is and it will break you at the end not just physically but also mentally. It's so much that you carry with you but not everyone sees it.

It's not like I see my grandparents like once a month or so...  I do see them 24/7, I live with them and you cannot, not see how they have changed over the years.
Everbody does change during their time but not that dramatically especially if they are older. I remember my grandfather always having a smile on his face, being energized doing so many things...now he doesn't smile that often anymore, he does not have the energy to do many other things than caring for my grandmother.

An old teacher of mine, who knows about my situation recently said to me that I had to grow up earlier than most people do. I never thought about this that way but she is right I have more responsibilities than other people in my age have and as I thought about that I've realised that when I hear some of the people in school talking, who are the same age as me, the way they talk about things and how 'hard' it is for them to cope with school work I can't always understand them. Another thing they worry about is how to get to every party they want to go to. When they come back on Monday morning all they talk about is how wasted they have gotten and about their hangovers. 
I mean yeah it is cool to have fun and stuff but getting wasted every weekend whilst still being under age is not really the ideal life, is it?
Anyway, I'm flying off the tangent.
 I do love them a lot and I care for them so this is especially hard but I wouldn't change my situation...okay I do wish that some days would be better than they actually are but who doesn't?

I hope this post may be an eye-opener for some of you. Although it is really miss-matched. 
Do you have any family members or close friends who are disabled?

Love, Steff xx