Updated: 50 facts about me

 Hello everybody, as I mentioned in my last post I wanted to update my 50 facts about me post from 2016 (😳). Gosh, time really has passed. For any of you who are interested, this is my post from 2016.

1) I'm now 22 years old which is a bit crazy as I've had 2 birthdays in the pandemic so I still feel like I'm 20. XD

2) I'm still living in Germany but I have moved around a bit since then. I still visit my hometown regularly but I also lived in Dresden for 2 years and in Dublin for a month.

3) I'm a Bachelorette now. I studied Tourism and Eventmanagement at FHD in Dresden and did a semester abroad at DBS in Dublin.

4) So horoscopes are still not my thing but I find it quite funny what's written in them.

5) I have blue eyes

6) Still dying my hair blonde but I want to give it a bit of a break from all that bleaching. The last time I bleached my hair was mid-September and my roots are showing again. This is kind of a big step for me as I really love the blonde on me.

7) I speak German (native language) and English (fluently).

8) I can speak a little bit of French, Spanish and Chinese.

9) Studying Spanish was harder than I thought. I took Spanish for 4 semesters and Chinese for 1 but without the practice, it's hard to keep up.

10) I miss my days in drama club and drama camp as it was so much fun. Unfortunately, I haven't picked it up ever again which makes me a bit sad.

11) If you drive with me you have to be prepared for a private concert of mine and my horrible voice XD.

12) I love Zumba dances but my coordination is horrendous.

13) So this one has changed. I loved going to the gym whilst living in Dresden and also doing home workouts. But I really need a gym friend otherwise I kind of lack the motivation to do so. My friend from Uni Nathalie was great as a gym friend and I do miss going to the gym to her (multiple times a week). I also had an accident at a trampoline park where I have ruptured the ligament in my left foot/ankle.

14) Purple for the win! Also Colleen Hoovers book Layla is purple in the german version and it is the most beautiful book I have ever seen!

15) I wouldn't say that I'm very fashionable but there is quite a bit more colour in my wardrobe these days. As well as many Christmas jumpers.

16) I mean who doesn't love comfy clothes, but sometimes I enjoy putting a bit more effort into my look.

17) I got a tattoo in January 2018. It's a tribute to my favourite city, London.

18) My scented candle collection has grown ever since 😅.

19) In my original post I have stated that I want to live in London one day, which I still do but I wouldn't want to live there for a really long time. Right now I really have no idea where I want to be. 

20) I love shopping and my go-to place is H&M. New Yorker, Primark and Shein also count to my most favourites.

21) I started scrapbooking in 2018 and I can't tell you enough how calming and therapeutic this is. Also, a great way to get creative with memories.

22) I got Netflix at the beginning of 11th grade and I'm surprised I made it through my Abitur 😅.

23) White Collar is my favourite show followed by Sherlock. Dark and Biohackers are great German shows on Netflix.

24) I'm in a happy relationship for over 2 years :)

25) You've made it halfway through the list as well as me.

26) I still can't draw but I love doing paint by numbers paintings.

27) I love driving and I always have just not in the snow I'm terrified of that. Since getting my licence in 2016 I have driven a lot since then, even in the UK which can be hard for people (as we drive on the right in Germany) but I honestly didn't think it was that hard.

28) I still post on my Instagram @doublesteff but I'm not really active on Twitter anymore.

29) As I have mentioned in my last post I have Emetophobia which is the fear of vomit, vomiting, feeling sick. It hasn't affected me that much in my life until recently.

30) I still have a phobia of snakes and I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, maybe also a  bit of depression.

31) The fact that I have been suffering from these mental illnesses for such a long time and still not gotten help for it is kinda ashaming. Like I know that there is sth not right with me and I do want to get help but I'm also very scared of it and that fear just overtakes all my bravery.

32) I do love cities but as I've gotten older I value the quietness of the countrysides more than I did 5 years ago.

33) I'm proud of myself for going to uni and getting my degree. I also want to do a masters degree as well.

34) Don't even ask about my music taste. My playlist lists anything from musicals to pop to German Schlager 😅.

35) I do wanna call myself a bookish person. I love reading and I have a huge collection of books. Colleen Hoover is just the best author in the world! My favourite books of hers are Ugly Love and Verity. I'm currently reading Layla. Btw I can really recommend buying a kindle.

36) Autumn and Christmas are just the best seasons on the world. I do enjoy summer and spring too but winter is the worse.

37) My love for travelling has only grown over the years and I've been to lots of places in Europe. The furthest I've gone was the Azores (Portugal) and Dubai. 

38) In 2019 I've been on holiday 8 times, in 2020 twice and in 2021 just once. Honestly, it is kinda frustrating not being able to travel.

39) I've lost my grandma (RIP) in May 2018. Just two days before my last oral exam for my Abitur. I really miss her but I'm more than thankful that I visited her in the hospital the evening before she's passed and that I got to say goodbye. Even though I did not know it would be the last one. 

40) I can like my nose with my tongue.

41) I'm an overthinker but back in 2016, I called it having a lot of imagination.

42) London really is my favourite city and a place that I strongly connect with my family.

43) I currently drive a 13-year old Honda Civic which used to be my mum's car.

44) I want to get another tattoo, actually more than one. 

45) I haven't told my family that I got a tattoo because they don't like them and think they are ugly and stupid.

46) I have my ears pierced, one on each side and I want to get a second one but I haven't decided on which ear.

47) I have a Samsung Galaxy S10e

48) I have insomnia and am currently writing this post at 1.30 am.

49) I sometimes which to go back in time. Either to kindergarten age or to 2019 as this was the best year so far.

50) I work at a hotel, to be precise at the one my mum has bought in February 2020.

Well, well, well some of them have gotten quite deep there. I hope you learned a bit more about me.

Love, Steff xx

Christmas Season and live update

Hello everybody,

we are currently one week into the fifth season, aka Christmas season. I love Christmas, but I had a bit of a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. Without Christmas Markets and shopping for presents online instead of in store, well it makes things harder. I now have recovered from my blues and started to feel very Christmassy. Wearing Christmas jumpers, ordering presents and baking cookies are the things I enjoyed most last week. Also, Arthur Christmas, which is my favourite Christmas film is on Netflix!🎉 On the weekend I went to Dresden where they had a little Christmas Market, gosh it felt so good to see people having a good time.

Since getting my degree I started working at my mums' hotel, I have been working here before as a student, but now it is full time. I love working with people and in the tourism field, also my job is to do the marketing for the hotel. What I love most is that not one day is the same as the last. Obviously there are routines like the check-in process, but every guest is different and that's why it's never the same. I attended some business trips which were fun, and we started with our big renovation project. Unfortunately, we had to close our hotel and restaurant in November as Covid-Restrictions were intensified. Live was still busy tho as the renovation project needed all of our attention. It's all coming together now, and I'm so excited to see the finished project. 

I haven't been well mentally in the past month or two. I really struggled with all the restrictions, as I'm not vaccinated there's not much I can do. This led into me being very anxious and also depressed, and the fact that we have less and less daylight everyday just made it worse. In order to conquer this, I made a big decision and got vaccinated last Thursday. I still won't be able to do much until January, but this perspective really gave me some hope. Getting the vaccine was easy, and it didn't hurt. After the 15-min wait I had a very slight headache and my arm felt a bit heavy but nothing major. The rest of my day was quite hectic, but I could just go on. The next day I was very tired and couldn't focus, I could not lay on my left arm or lift it too high. I had a bit of a fever in the evening. I just took things slow that day and rested a lot. On Saturday I was feeling much better and only had a bit of pain in my arm. Over the weekend, this issue resolved and there were no other side effects for me. Now I'm just waiting to get my second shot. 

Another thing that really messed up with my mental health was my emetophobia and anxiety and panic attacks. In October my boyfriend caught a stomach bug and had to throw up at night in bed, luckily there was a bucket close so nothing got dirty, but I ran away crying and screaming for my dear life. I ran away in the middle of the night and have not been back to his place for that week. I was so scared to also have caught it that week, but luckily I didn't. Not only that, but I was so nervous going back, but I managed to do that. But ever since then, I sometimes struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep when I'm with him. This sounds so bad, and I feel kinda guilty for it, as obviously didn't get ill on purpose. I mostly struggle in the nights from Sunday to Monday, as this was the timing of him throwing up. I will either not be able to fall asleep or sleep for like 1-2 hours and then wake up. After 5 am, I'll start to calm down enough to fall asleep (again). I'm guessing the 5 am mark is like a save spot for me because he threw up at like 4.45 am on that night in October. Last weekend it was so bad that I actually left his flat at 3.30 am to go home and get some sleep. He was fast asleep and didn't realize what was happening. In the end I did not get a lot of sleep as I got up at 7 am again and went back to his to say goodbye for the week because he starts work at 8 am and I drive to my mums hotel and stay there during the week. 

I really don't know what to do about this. I feel so guilty because this is all my fault as this whole thing is really just in my head, and he did nothing wrong. 

Are you also struggling with your mental health or have emetophobia? What is something that helps you?

Love, Steff xxx